VIETNAM VENTURES

FIRST IMPRESSIONS WITH AN ELF MAN

One of our first discoveries in Vietnam was that traffic is louder and crazier than that of Bangkok. Yes, it is possible. By our last day we yearned for the miles of cars, which sit silently on the streets, waiting to for their turn to go at the hour-long red lights.

In Hanoi, no one waits, and everyone honks. Honks. Honks. And honks. I felt like the city was made up of a million broken horns that would randomly go off for no reason. Then there were swarms of motorbikes everywhere. It felt like they were killer bees, waiting to attack innocent tourists on the streets if they step the wrong way.

After a honk-full, almost crashing into a million motorbikes drive in the taxi to the center of Hanoi, we soon discovered our driver didn’t really know where our hotel was. Hmm..neither did we.

Our problem was solved when a man who reminded me of a Vietnamese looking Christmas elf came up to our window. He told us to get out. I was freaked out at first. I thought this little man who was a few inches shorter than 5'3 me would take us to a sketchy place in Hanoi and do something evil to us. I wasn’t going to budge.

It turns out he was just the owner of Ocean Star II (the hostel where we had booked our stay) who had used his magical powers to find the taxi. And I really do think he has special powers.

Right away, our elf friend, who turned out to be a boisterous, lovable ball of energy, was eager to help us book a tour for Halong Bay the next day. The problem was he didn’t speak English well. For some reason the way he said sacts, instead of taxes was pretty much the funniest thing in the world to me at the time and I couldn’t stop laughing. This was probably due to lack of food and sleep. Thankfully, he seemed oblivious to my snickers or just thought I was a freak American with laughing issues.



To make matters worse, Vietnamese dong boggled our famished minds to no end. After what seemed like 30 minutes of explanation in broken English we understood that 16,000 dong equaled one American dollar. But trying to add up these huge sums of money that really equal hardly anything is rather exhausting for the brain. It led to even more laughter from me when he was trying to type everything in the calculator, and we kept looking at him with puzzled stares after his lengthy explanations.

Yet the next few days after rest and food, I became saner and the elf man took a liking to me for some reason. He started to call me his girlfriend. I wanted to say you are too short to be my boyfriend, but didn’t want to hurt him too bad. So he had fun telling people I was his girlfriend, giving me hugs, dancing with me, and kissing me on the cheek.

Now I can say I had a Vietnamese Christmas elf guy for a boyfriend. How delightful! He really made our stay a silly, fun time. So much so that the annoyance soon vanished away that our water didn’t work much, a cockroach ran over Ja one morning and our room was made for a one and a half person and not three.

BAY BABES



The next day we rode in a van for about 3-hours outside of Hanoi to Halong Bay. We passed by farming towns, and stared at men and women working in the rice paddies with the famous straw cone hats. At first I thought these hats were worn for the tourists’ sake, but they actually do wear them for a purpose.. to keep the sun off and to stay cool.

Our van was full of characters. Our tour guide, yet again was lacking in English skills, even though his occupation is an English tour guide for Halong Bay. We had four guys from Switzerland who right away I knew were going to make things fun.

I guessed they were in a hardcore band when I first saw them because of their skating shoes, tattoos, and punk hats. I had never heard punk people speak elegant French before, so that was a cool combo. They are on a tour of the world for 20 months, if their money lasts that is..I was so inspired by them and wish that one day I can take a few months off of life and do the same. Wow, we shall see…Anyone want to join?

When we got on our boat at the bay, it felt like we were on an ancient Asian vessel, prowling the waters. First we went to a fishing village. I was so in awe because people actually live on houseboats, in the village. They don’t live on the land at all. They go to school in a building in the middle of the water. So crazy! We were discussing how boring it would be to live there if you weren’t used to it. The most exciting thing would be to swim over to your neighbor and talk about the catch of the day. Whoa, thankfully I wasn’t born into the life of Halong Bay fishing village…more power to the people who were..

Then we went into some caves, which were part of the UNESCO world heritage site. They were full of stalagmites lit up by different colored lights, like fluorescent green, purple and blue. It felt like we were in a club turned into a cave.

Our tour guide kept pointing at different stalagmites saying, “This is a dragon, do you see the dragon?” And all ten of us would look at each other, trying to decipher what he said and would be like. “No….” And then the Swiss guys would start yelling “Dragon, dragon!” And we would all laugh and stare and still not see it.

Once he told us one of the funky rocky things was Romeo and Juliet in the duck. What? We all looked at each other. What is he saying? Duck? Duck? Hmmm dark? But still it didn’t make sense. At one point he said, “Am I confusing?” I thought of saying yes, but didn’t think it would help much, so I just smiled and said “No! You are fine.” Yet another delightful character to add to our mix.

BIG TV



We were going to spend the next day going around Hanoi and looking at the sites of the city. First of all we shopped and bought cutesy Vietnamese hat decorations. Then we went to some cool gardens and the first Vietnamese library, where the books are huge stone tablets that have Chinese characters engraved in them. Eventually we went to the Ho Chi Min museum. That was interesting because none of us were quite sure who he was, and the whole modernistic, funky museum was very supportive of him.

But eventually we were so exhausted after walking around the whole city for hours that we needed to relax. We decided to try to see a Vietnamese movie at the theater. We found the nice little man who had been taking us around the city in his little bicycle chariot where he drives in the back and we ride in the front.

It is perfect because you have an unblemished view of the city streets---the huge tall trees lining the roads amidst the tall, slender, elegant French-style architecture, the women carrying poles on their backs laden with fruit baskets at each end, and the Vietnamese on lunch breaks chowing down at street stalls.

So we told him, “We want to see a movie.”
“Oh! You want to go shopping?”
“No, we want to see a film.” (We begin pantomiming watching a film.)
“Oh! You want to get food?”
“No, we want to go to the theater.” (Pantomiming even more exuberantly now.)
“Oh! You want to go to hotel?”
“No, we want to go to the cinema.” (Giving up pantomiming)

This banter continued for a while, much to everyone’s frustration. Finally I said, “We want to see big TV!”
“Big TV! Oh yes! Big TV! I know! I take you!” He pantomimes a big TV.

We all giggled at the fact that it took him so long and were ecstatic to finally have broken the language barrier.

We got in two different bicycle chariots and after about 20 minutes we realized after passing the same spot we had been picked up, that our faithful driver didn’t know where he was going. Yet, after awhile, he finally stopped and said, “Big TV!”

Ahh, we looked over and saw a TV store selling Panasonic TVs, not just any TVs though, big ones.

NO, no! We tried to tell him that it wasn’t what we wanted. “But big TV!” he pointed. A man on the street tried to help us too, but he had never heard of the word movie theater either. Eventually we gave up on the movie option and decided to try to have him take us to somewhere close by on the map, we pointed at a theater where they put on plays and asked him to take us there.

He seemed to know where that was so we drove along for another 20 minutes until he pulled up to a bookstore. NO! A bookstore?! We started to tell him it was wrong, but finally decided to just get out.

We gave him 30,000 dong, the first agreed on price, but he was annoyed as well. “No! More money! I drove around and around!”
“But you didn’t take us where we wanted to go!” So we made a dash inside the bookstore, to hide-out from the disgruntled driver.

We never found our movie theater, but a sweet lady in the book store immediately knew what we were talking about when we asked. It was too faraway to go to, but oh well. We learned overall in Vietnam that even if people appear to speak English, looks can be quite deceiving.




SAIGON YUM

I know you must be astonished that I haven’t spoken about food yet. But I saved it for now because I wanted this blog entry to have a nice ending.

The night we arrived, my first sight of food stalls added to my laughing problem. Many people in Hanoi sit on little tiny chairs at the street vendor stalls. It looks like the adults have pulled up to the kid’s table at Thanksgiving. It was so cute to see the stools, and we couldn’t get over them. Look for pics online…

The first night we walked to the first food stall we saw and sat down on the wee chairs. For about a dollar each, we feasted on Vietnamese style BBQ. Each table had its’ own grill with a Bunsen burner like thing under it, where we put beef and cooked it ourselves. They also gave us green onions and tomatoes to add to the beef. With our chopsticks we pushed it around on the grill until it was just the right shade of well-done but not too burnt. Then we dipped it with a tomato in a rather Thai tasting spicy, flavorful sauce, and it was perfect! Or maybe it was also that we were starved, either way it was fun.

We also saw the French influence because they served us baguettes with the meal, so different from Thailand where bread is scarce at most food stalls. Then for breakfast at Ocean Star II we also had baguettes with eggs, as well as Vietnamese pho.

Alice was super excited about foo, a noodle soup with chicken and herbs, because she had it all the time at home in Calli. But she was disappointed because she said it tastes better in Callifornia. Heehee..I didn’t think it was too bad, but I enjoy Thai soups better cuz I think they have more flavor. Maybe I will just have to eat pho in California though before I decide Thai noodle soup is better..

Oh man! And the coffee! So good! I was eager to try Vietnamese-style coffee that I had heard about in the States. One morning after eating some dough bread for breakfast we went to a café, which even had the mini-chairs. The coffee was brought in a small clear glass with a spoon in it. I mixed the coffee with the sweetened condensed milk that was at the bottom of the glass. It had such a rich, strong taste. It was like eating a brownie minus the chocolate.



Later on we indulged at a fancy café where I got my own mini-press pot of coffee on top of my cup. Then I after letting the coffee seep for about 5 minutes I mixed it with the milk. Yet again it was amazing. Of course since caffeine and me are mortal enemies, I was up all night after my two coffees in one day. But hey, I’m only in Vietnam once, so I don’t regret it too much..

Our last food delight was when we treated ourselves to a nicer restaurant. We got a dish where they give you circular sheets of rice paper, which looks just like wax paper, and we put sticky green, and white noodles, basil, cucumbers, pork ribs, and a spicy sauce and rolled it up like a wrap. Wow, so cool! Ahh, as one of my co-workers says, the joys of being mortal, being able to indulge in delicious food.

NEXT STEP

I hope I survive another week of intense work. If I keep thinking about elfs and big TVs and laughing..I think I can make it through.

Woohoo!

ON HOLIDAY...for a day

DETOX

Hmm, I think this was one of my hardest weeks at work so far. I thought in Thailand I could escape the stress and pressure America puts on me, but I was not so elusive, because this week my enemy found me once again---no fair.

As I mentioned in my previous post, we started Jr. Elite this past week. I enjoy teaching the kids writing, doing silent reading, helping them with their homework and doing a book club on Charlotte’s Web, but it is for 3 hours on Wednesday and Friday. I used to spend that time planning and preparing for my other classes, the 9th and 10th grade book club and intense SAT writing. Yeah, so since I didn’t have as much time to plan and another class to plan for, I was freaking out.

Somehow after much journal writing at how stressed I was and going out with my friends and not thinking about the pressure, I made it through. Ahh, but the best detox from the stress I got was yesterday…

At work on Sunday, Ja, my director, was like, hey, what are you doing tomorrow? I wasn’t really planning on doing anything, except not thinking about work. She said, “Let’s go to the beach for the day, want to? I think we need it.” Wow, these words gave my body and soul such joy I was about to start break-dancing in the office.

The next day, Ja, Alice and I groggily jumped in a 15-passenger van at 7 a.m. to take us to Hua Hin, a beach about 2 hours and 40 minutes away from Bangkok. I munched on my just ripe enough, juicy, the perfect shade of yellow pineapple as we bumped along in the van which by some miracle was speeding along, evading most of Bangkok’s horrendous traffic.

Ahh, thankfully Ja has been to Hua Hin four times, so Alice and I didn’t have to go through our usual intense time of arriving somewhere, jumping off the bus and feeling completely lost. Our first hour typically consists of showing pictures from our guidebook to taxi drivers while using our Thainglish to ask them to take us there. What a blessing local friends are to directionally challenged people..

Of course we needed food to give us the necessary strength to lay on the beach all day, so that was our first stop. Ja told us Hua Hin is apparently well known for their pork satay, or moo-satay, in Thai. The roasted strips of pork on a stick are dipped in a thick smooth peanut sauce. The sauce goes perfectly with the pork, as most sauces do in what is my favorite culinary world.

Moo-satay was one of our appetizers included in our feast of chicken and rice, and prawn noodle soup we gobbled up at a typical street restaurant. These mom and pop-like diners are open-air, with concrete walls and floor. The Thai customers sit on the faded multi-colored plastic chairs pulled around metal rusted tables that always have a few containers of spicy seasonings to add to the already catch-your-mouth-on-fire-with-flavor dishes.


Our next mission was to find our spot in the smooth slip through your fingers sand piled up in front of the calm, lapping, not-to-warm-not-to-cool waters. First we had to navigate around the rows of beach chairs for rent, bypassing all the sellers of grilled corn, jewelry, bags, and juice. Horses were dotted all over the beach, standing still, guarded by their owners who pleaded you to take a ride down the beach for 50 baht. But eventually after getting through the melee, we rented a straw mat, and found a covert spot under the shade of a beachy tree.

I was with Alice, and Ja, who like many Asians will do anything, even put on whitening lotion, to get whiter. As a result they wanted to hide away from the sun. Of course, me being white, I wanted to get darker. Why are we never content with who we are? But I didn’t mind the shade. When I got tired of the shade, I laid out my towel in the sun. I tried to be extra careful to control my desire for the bright rays so I wouldn’t turn into a deliciously red lobster like I had at Pattaya.

For quite a few moments yesterday I felt as though I had sneaked into paradise or at least that I was on the border, getting a sneak peek. The ocean breeze danced over us as we lay under the tree, where we lost ourselves in books and chocolate ice cream cones.

After our intense relaxing on the sand, it was time for swimming lessons with Sherri in the water that was so still it was like a pool. Alice and Ja don’t know how to swim, so I tried to help them out a bit. I think they made progress; they were almost floating and even dog paddling. I was proud…but they weren’t quite as impressed with their new-found skills. Oh well…maybe I should learn how to teach swimming, that might be my next venture.

Of course we had to pee after awhile..but in Thailand the most silly form of exploitation happens when it comes to toilets. The places where it is a must to use the toilet, such as bus stops and beaches, you have to pay a few baht to use them. Even though these bathrooms are always the worst. It really makes no sense to me to pay to use toilets that are equivalent to the sanitary conditions of a greasy gas station combined with a Kenyan outhouse. But of course we had to succumb because we had to go, so we brought our 5 baht and began the trek.

An inviting resort caught our eye on our way…The southern plantation style buildings, with an expansive garden of trees carved into elephants, birds and giraffes, inspired me. There had to be toilets here—free, nice toilets. Alice and I walked with purpose past the guard, and decided to make it our goal to find a toilet. We uncovered our prize next to the refined patio, and casually strolled in. There was no one there, and there was even real hand soap and towels---two things which are a rare commodity in any toilet in Thailand. But after our second time of la te da walking in, the guard seemed to catch on. I think when we went back with Ja, she threw him off because she was the only non-farang on the premises. She decided if he tired to speak to her she would pretend like she didn’t know Thai. But right when he was about to say something to us we quickly walked out and scampered down the beach. Heehee..

But Ja wasn’t the only one getting caught for being Thai. When I asked in Thai to the Thai coconut seller how much the coconuts were, he said, “Wow, are you from Thailand?” Of course I’m sure it is easy to mistake me for being Thai. I mean my light brown/blondish hair, pale skin, and round eyes could fool anyone, but I was still surprised at his comment. I quickly assured him I was American, and he was like, oh, ok. Hmm..maybe my Thai is better than I thought…

Wow, then the perfect end to our perfect day. An soul satisfying meal overlooking the ocean. I didn’t know crab curry, chicken in coconut milk, and vegetables in oyster sauce all mingled and mixed with rice could make me feel so content.

We were sitting, scraping our plates as we watched the sun pinken the sky, discussing how life is meant to be enjoyed and not just breezed through. Im glad that God wants us to rejoice, to eat drink and be merry.

Now I go to work tomorrow. Hmm…can I handle it?

Vietnam in 6 days.. =)

all over the place

INTENSE

this has been a crazy last two weeks...our new program started up this week and i feel rather overwhelmed and am wondering if i can really handle this whole teaching thing. but i love the 3rd and 4th graders im teaching. they are so eager to ask questions and be responsive to whatever i do. they are quite unlike some of my 9-11th graders who sit there looking too cool and not answering when i ask anything. but of course i like both classes, each one has its' own challenges and joys or whatever...

im going to post a new entry today or tomm, but i wanted to just give the link again to anyone who wants to see a few more pics...snake farm, and autthaya..fun stuff!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/55907373@N00/

will blog soon! =)

DISTURBERS OF THE PEACE

DEFACING AYUTTHYA

ahh! my thai class ended last friday. i left good ol' krhu pussadee's classroom with bittersweet feelings. i was sad that i wont be learning new thai everyday, laughing at my khru's impersenations of all of us (she always made fun of how i laughed, yawned a lot and would say, "what??!" when i was confused) and hanging out with my korean and japanese classmates. but i was oh so happy to finally have days completely off to do whatever i want! no way!

so with my new found freedom, three of my closest bangkok friends and i decided to go on a small adventure to the old capital city, ayutthya, to see the ruins of wats (temples) and the old grand palace. we hopped a small minivan for 60 baht, equal to a few dollars, to drive us about a little over an hour north of bangkok.

we saw the ruins mainly as a large playground. we clambered up their steep steps to the top where people left goodies for the gods, like milk and doramen stuffed animals. we saw a towering golden buddha in one of the temples, and a buddha head wrapped up in the roots of an old tree. he was all over the place.

one of the last ruins we went to had many buddha statues in a line, all of them were so ancient that the heads had worn/fallen off. so of course, we thought of the brillant scheme, why dont we take pictures with our heads as buddha's head, since he doesnt have one. how fun that would be!

neal, mariha and i got in position just right so that only our heads were popping up over the stone statue. as alice was preparing to take the shot, i see a security guard man come running up to where we are. i smiled, thinking, oh, he is amused at what we are doing. he thinks it's funny and cute!

but as he got closer, he didnt look so delighted. actually he wasnt laughing, but yelling, "no! give me your camera! 200 baht, 200 baht!" we scattered. but he chased us, taking two of our cameras, pressing buttons frantically.

another guard runs up, digs behind the statues to pull up a rusty faded sign that has scrawled on it, "dont climb on ruins" and maybe something else was on there too about taking pictures.. and waves it in our faces. i wrenched my camera away, showing him we deleted the picture, yet he was still yelling, "200 baht!" we kept saying, "no, no!" and scurried away into a clearing. he followed us for a bit like a stray dog hungry for meat, but eventually he lost interest and decided we werent worth the effort and went back to his task of guarding the headless buddhas.

i was sufficently freaked out and kept thinking he was going to get us and send us to the police or something. we didnt want to go back and contemplated jumping the ruin wall and scaling the bushes on the other side to reach the road, but the barb wire fence didnt seem so inviting. instead we just speed walked to the exit and breathed a sigh/laugh of relief once we left.

lesson learned! dont pretend to be buddha. ever. one of our friends was aghast when we told them what we did. wow, it's like if you saw someone pretending to be jesus, stretching your arms on a cross and taking pictures merrily. oh man, when you put it that way it just sounds so bad. oopps..at least we can claim ignorance...

ELITE TIMES

teaching is hard! but rewarding. i have heard that so much, but now i finally truly believe the cliche.

my first few weeks of teaching book club didnt go so hot. the cell book i wrote about earlier that i said i was going to teach, was loved by my students almost as much as i loved it. which wasnt much at all. as a result two students dropped out of my class, one called the director and said she cried everyday the first week of book club after attempting to read the book cuz she didnt understand it. oh the guilt that burned in me! but we didnt chose the book, the main Elite in the states choses the books, and we just do them. so they kept saying it wasnt my fault, but still! i made a student cry my first week! ah!

then after another student dropped out, the education director told me we were going to drop hard cell book no one liked, and do short stories instead. what a relief! and the director had done them before so she already had a lot of lesson plans.

i thought it would be better but this week two more students dropped because they thought it was silly to do short stories and not a real book. oh my goodness! but they said they will come back fo the next book in three weeks. wow, so here goes the new teacher dropping enrollment like crazy.

then at our staff meeting the topic came up on how we dont have as many students registered for classes this month. which means low profits, which means not making budget, which means not being able to give as much money to the non-profit we support as we need to. the discussion led to how the teachers need to make our classes fun so that students want to stay because of loyalty to the teacher. so i was feeling a bit pressured, but i realize that its not really up to me. i know God will give me the strength i need and wisdom for fun ideas. i hope He does at least, cuz i need it bad.

but i really enjoy helping the SAT students, especially when they have questions after class or about their essays. it is sweet to try to help them and then seeing them do better. wow, i guess it is cool to see the whole process of teaching work, you tell them something, they apply it, they improve. what a cool concept when it actually all flows like it should.

FUN STUFF BLURBS:

-i went to the snake farm! we saw snakes get their venom sucked out, and i got to have a heavy smooth rubbery feeling python chill on my shoulders. fun times!

-today i went to the bangkok refugee center to help teach english. i went with alice, who is the other teacher at Elite, and a woman from my church. we went to three different classrooms to teach kiddos. we sang songs, and helped work on pronounciation of tricky sounds like "th", "l", and "r".

most of the refugees are from laos, china, sri lanka, nepal, and congo. i was so excited to see two of my former students i taught during my CELTA training there! i will hopefully be going back every tuesday i have free to teach for an hour or so. but it is so hard to be there, to think of the refugees and how they are stuck-- jobless and homeless, waiting for hope. yet, it is a joy to be there and have a chance to try to love on them and give them a taste of the hope they are waiting for.

-im going to vietnam!! im so excited. ja, the director of elilte, alice, and i are going nov. 4-6 fot the weekend. ja found a super cheap ticket on air asia one day and was like, want to go to vietnam? sure! so were going! im so excited to experience another place...its so sweet how close all these places are that you can just go to another country for the weekend. i feel so blessed..i cant wait!

mondays in bangkok

SI LUAN (yellow in thai..im learning something!)

i was peering over the second level of the skytrain stop, gazing at the sun already high in the bluer than normal bangkok sky. i always like to look out over the street vendors starting up their sales with the regulars while i wait for the train to come. i feel like a spy, trying to capture every detail so i can report on it later. as usual, after around 5 minutes or so the train arrived..

i stepped over the gap, into the skytrain car. it was 730am, which means everyone in the entire city of bangkok is on the skytrain going to work or school. this is where my old mosh pit skills come in handy, squeezing into a mob of people and standing strong. i try to shift my body weight with the movement of the car, so i dont go crashing like dominos into the sea of yellow engulfing me.

yes, yellow. this is the king's color, and every monday most thais don some sort of yellow polo shirt to show their love and honor for the king. there are many variations, but most have a pink, golden, blue threaded emblem of the king on the left side in the design of what i think looks like a little palace turret. some polos have sky blue collars, others orange. on the sleeves of some, like mine, love the king is embroiderded, or long live the king. and most every thai person wears them, it's like the country is in uniform on monday.

once i got off the train at 8am on in one of the busiest skytrain stations. i started to walk toward my exit, but all the sudden the yellow sea around me was frozen in place. it was like i was in a play, and the other actors froze around me, and i was in the spotlight, the only one still moving. i realized quickly that i should stop too, and that i hadnt noticed the traditional thai music blasting in the station. this is what had triggered the stop in time. at 8am everyday and 6pm music is played to honor the king and pay respect to him by stopping what you are doing until the music stops. good to know.

i had just gotten cozy in my red chair, rocking it back and forth a little. the previews so far had lasted about 25 minutes, most of them promoting local thai films, many of them looked like cheezy teenage flicks, or weirded out excessively gory horror movies. then the lights got darker, ahh..the movie was finally starting. but no...everyone begins to stand around me. i of course follow suit, hoping to avoid being the stared at forienger who doesnt know what she is doing. the familiar, but different melody of traditional thai music drifts gently out of the surround sound. we all are staring at a presentation showing the benevolence and kindness of the king, in all aspects of life. after 2 minutes or so it ends and we sit. the film now has permission to officially begin.

his face is everywhere. emblazzoned on skyscrapers, his portrait is in restrooms, restaurants, even gas stations. he is always sitting there, watching us all in bangkok. yet after awhile you dont really notice his presence. he is just another part of daily life.

it is odd to hardly ever hear anyone talking bad about the king, like i hear people in the states talking bad about the president or anyone in power in the states. it was almost eerie at first for me to see people giving such honor to a person in power. my american self isnt used to such respect for authority. but i must say, he really is a good king. he cares for his people so much, and has been known to go to villages and hand out food to the people there. treating them like they are just as important as the political people he meets with everyday. because they are.

yeah, but it is still weird for me on mondays. i always forget what day it is, and then im gently reminded every morning as im squished in the yellow. it is still hard for me to understand, but i guess i dont really need to. i just need to make sure i stand still when im suppose to, stand up when i should, and never ever ever diss the king.

PRESSING ON

thanks for your care and prayers for me while im trying to grieve. it doesnt seem as real now as it did last week that my aunt is gone. i guess that is how things go. i wanted to be grieving with my fam for awhile, but i know i need to be here. even though it is hard. please continue to pray for my fam..that would be great. it's great to feel love even miles and oceans away from friends. such a blessing..

refining

of course, life is hard at times...cuz that is life. we weren't created for an easy pain-free existence. we were created for more. that is what i have learned this past week after hearing on wednesday that my aunt beth, who was in the car accident a few weeks ago, passed away.

i cant really describe the weirdness of having someone die when you are so faraway. it is hard to say good-bye when in my mind she could still at home. im not there, how do i know she is really gone? it doesnt seem real. it was a painful few days of feeling so alone and like no one understood what was going on, but God has given me encouragement. after finally sharing with my friends here what happened, God has comforted me through them and through my amazing friends from home who have emailed me love and hugs, which is what i really needed right now.

i wasnt able to attend the funeral, but i wrote something that was read at the memorial service. i dont like being all open and gushy on my blog, but i think i will post what i wrote. i dont think it's that great because words seems so shalow when stuff like this happens. but i want to post it so everyone can read about my aunt, and why she meant so much to me and everyone she came in contact with. i want her example to live on forever.

MY AUNT BETH

About four weeks ago I was eating a lunch of spicy green curry at my Thai friend’s house. She was telling me about her aunt and how successful she was and how she admired her so much for working her way up the business ladder. This of course made me think of my Aunt Beth and how proud I am of her for different reasons. While my mouth tingled from my lunch, I began to boast to her about how amazing my Aunt Beth was.

I told her of my Aunt Beth’s typical day. She stood for her 8-hour shift as a cashier, scanning any garden supplies someone may need while blessing everyone who was lucky enough to go through her line that day. Driving away from Lowe’s, her fingers clutching the wheel were stained brown from the potting soil of the flowers that she found on sale to bring to my gardening mother. She zoomed home to switch cars to drive the handicap van to pick up my Aunt Rachel right when she finished working at the library. After walking in the door, she put a scrumptious dish in the oven right away, such as chicken a la king for dinner. Then she washed the stack of dishes that never seemed to disappear, while she picked up anything dropped on the floor during the day that my aunt or grandma couldn’t reach. If there was any time left before going to bed she might call up her dear friend since childhood who works in Pennsylvania to see how she is doing. Or maybe she could make cookies for her nieces to send them since they are all away at college. Or she might make a snack to bring to Sunday school the next day for church. Oh tomorrow is her day off! That means she would have time to pick up her friend who can no longer drive and take her out shopping and then get lunch.

She never stopped, but what is even more amazing is she never complained. I’m sure there were days when she got upset, when she didn’t want to go anymore, when she just wanted to quit, because Aunt Beth was human. But even if she felt like that, she still persevered. She might not have seen any reward for all her hard work day after day, never getting the praise she deserved. But that is not what she was living for, so maybe that is why you didn’t hear her complain much.

When I told my Thai friend about her she was in awe. But I hope she doesn’t see just that my Aunt Beth was so serving and giving, but I hope she sees that she didn’t do it for herself but because she lived for more than herself. She wasn’t living for the customers at the store, or her co-workers. She wasn’t living for her mother, her sisters, her brothers, or any other family. She wasn’t living for her friends. She was living for God. She wrote me a note when I went to New Zealand that she put in a present that said, “Open this when you feel lonely.” It says: “Sherri, I love you. I hope you’re enjoying yourself. Remember, God is always with you and He loves you very much. Aunt Beth.” That was her motivation for serving, not to try to win God’s love or the love of others, but to simply show others how God loves them very much.

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen in eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:16-18.

Teach the teacher..

DAY ONE DONE!

i taught for the first time at elite prep on sunday! ahhh! i was freaking myself out for most of the week. i was thinking, wow, how am i going to do this? i know NOTHING about how to prep people for the SAT..except for the fact that i wore a superman t-shirt and listened to classical music the night before i took it my second time because that was suppose to help you get a better score. yeah...and my score only went up 10 points after such efforts. astonishing!

yet, the place that we get our material from to teach our classes is so awesome. they give us all the grammar lessons we teach, so our job is to prep like crazy so we can become pros when instructing the 11th and 12th graders...acting as if we know what we are doing. at least that is what i was doing.

so i taught two different sessions for an hour and a half..even though i thought i wouldnt be able to fit everything in, it went by super fast, and i did have time to do stuff i didnt think i would be able to do.

i thought i would have to be really mean so i could keep control in the class, but most of the kids are pretty quiet and didnt give me any trouble...yet..but if they do such things as speak in a language other than english there is recourse. they have to eat a harry potter jelly bean, one of the gross flavors like vomit and boggers. they have to tell you what it tastes like too cuz if they dont they might have just swallowed it. i told the kids, i love harry potter, so i would be eager to spread some harry potter fun if i hear any other languages. most of the kids just looked freaked out after i said that, but someone in the second class laughed. how nice of them.

now i get to prepare to teach book club on saturday. i hope i can come up with some good curriculum for this 3-hour book club class on lives of a cell. how do i make a book about how all the world is like a cell exciting? im sure i will find a way...at least i hope so. i dont want the kids to hate me right away for giving them a boring book. maybe later, but not immediately.

GETTING TAUGHT THAI

i started my thai class yesterday. its going to be mon-fri from 8am-noon. it's intense! there are about 12 students in the class, most of them are korean, two are japanese, one english dude, and then me and my korean american friend from work. my khru (that means teacher in thai-- its not her first name which is what i thought for the first hour of class) is so hilarious! she will make fun of us when we say things funny or weird, but in a good way that makes the class lighthearted and not stressful. so she has been having lots of fun with me.

i usually am unsure about how to pronounce the vowels and constonants, and the five different tonal sounds, so when it's my turn to speak i say my answer in a confused, unsure way. khru kept laughing at me, and told me she loved me. at least i bring her some amusement! my homework is to learn my thai numbers. we have to go around and say how many problems we got wrong after we do an exercise, and i was the only one who couldnt remember how to say the numbers in thai. so i kept asking my friend secretly..khru caught on..oh well, she said next week if we speak in another language than thai we have to pay her 15 baht to go toward her future trip to hong kong. at least it's better than a harry potter jelly bean.

to bed i go...leave some love. =)