Savoring

"Live like you are going to die tomorrow, learn like you will live forever." I randomly saw this sticker on the back of a funky car when I was in Dominic's hometown at his old college. The phrase jumped out to me like crazy, for one it was in English and not Thai, and it is something that I really have been pondering lately.

Since after we got married, it's hitting me a little more everyday how we aren't going to be living in Thailand forever. In August we will pack up our slew of suitcases, hop on a plane and jet back to our other home.

So I'm trying to live my life in Thailand more in a way so that I savor it: to taste and enjoy completely every moment. Usually, being the human that I am, I forget to delight in it and go through life too quick to notice anything around me or dwell on the future so much the present never truly exists. I have seen how this takes the joy out of life, and hope to God that He will free me from it. 

Last night at a street side restaurant near Newsong (our church),  I was eating glass noodles stir-fried with a rainbow of vegetables, and chicken, covered with a dark red, sweet, spicy sauce.  The dish is called in Thai, suki heng gai, and is one of my new favorites this year. As I was slurping up a bite from my fork and spoon, I was really trying to soak up every part of the experience--the heat, which was giving me and my friends from our women's small group all shiny foreheads; the air, smelling of car exhaust fumes and fried food; the tastes, of my freshly-made iced Milo chocolate drink, and the spicy, sauce lingering on my tongue; the conversation, full of woes of the week, as well as laughter and encouragement; the women, sisters from Russia, Thailand, and America. 

I will miss those moments in little Waxhaw. But whenever I think about missing here, I think about what I miss there, in my other home, that I don't get here. My family and old friends who I have history with, cheap Mexican food, even cooking food at home, coffeshops galore with amazing coffee at reasonable prices, and actually knowing what random strangers are saying to each other around me. I can't wait to get those special times again.

I hope I can savor all my moments, not only the huge ones, like getting married, but also the everyday ones--no matter where I am. Moments on earth disappear in the breeze, but I know I will learn forever.

Show me, O LORD, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life. You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man's life is but a breath. 

Psalm 39:5

For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 

1 Corinthians 4:18

Happy Thailand

"Happyyyyy Thailand! Happyyyyy Thailand!"

Not the words I expected to hear the night before my wedding after crying from the stress of the many details that seemed so important that I needed to figure out for the next day.

But these words are two of the few English words that my new grandmother-n-law knows.

Those two words, which she probably learned from a commercial promoting tourism in Thailand, her vibrant eyes, and uplifting smile, were part of the remedy to cure my stressed-out-bride syndrome. As sweet Grandma kept repeating them, holding my hand in her worn and wrinkled fingers, and smiling as big as ever, I started to giggle and smile at her compassionate heart. Slowly the stress and sadness began to float away, to be replaced with "Happy Thailand."

I'm sure part of my heartache was that my American family wasn't there to hold me and wipe away my worries the night before the big day. I could tell that Grandma wanted to speak to me directly, in my language, to try to lift up my hurting heart. She couldn't speak profound, eloquent words, but her simple attempts, giving me the only positive words she knew to speak, were just what

I needed.

My grandma-n-law has taught me many things already. One of them being, that you never need the perfect words or actions to show love, or encourage someone. All you need to do is give out of a compassionate, loving heart what you have--whether you think it is a lot, or nothing at all--it is enough and just what they need.

Mystery Novel

I love to read good mystery novels. There is something about the intrigue of trying to figure out what is going on and in the end how, if the mystery is by a good author, my predictions are never right and how the author's endings are always immensely better than my paltry ponderings.

I have decided my life is a mystery novel. Im always trying to predict what is going to happen next, but alas, Im never right. I want to flip forward a few chapters constantly to see if something good or bad lies ahead, but sadly, unlike a book, my pages only appear one at a time for me to live in. 

When I was young I dreamed that maybe I would marry a cute, curly brown-haired, artsy hobbit-like guy. Wow, I was wrong. Dominic is definitely not a hobbit, but Im so delighted I'm a bad guesser. 

I never dreamed I would fall in love with a Thai guy, since most of the time Im not attracted to them, but Dom is not a normal Thai guy. He is a Christian-not Buddhist. He loves to work out-unlike most Thai guys. He loves learning about new cultures and taking parts of them with him-like wearing Abercrombie and Fitch, and learning English. He is confident-not many Thai guys are brave enough to go for an American girl. He doesn't agree with many Thai politics that the majority sides with-he has his own views and sticks with them. I admire how he isn't afraid to be different from his society and stand out.

I never dreamed I would get married in Thailand! I always hoped I could have a destination wedding, but never thought it would be possible. We are so thankful to Dominic's mom, and friends who helped pay for our exotic Thai wedding. Even though my friends and family from America weren't there, God blessed me with friends and family in Bangkok so I didn't feel sad and lonely on my wedding day, but instead, so loved. I can't believe Im blessed enough to now go home in August and have another celebration with the American side.

I never dreamed I would go to Jakharta, and Bali, Indonesia, and Kuala Lumpar, Malaysia for our honeymoon. I always dreamed to go to an island for my honeymoon, but never thought it would be in Bali. Im so grateful to my parents who provided such a gift for us.

My wildest dreams haven't come true because never before did I even fathomed any of this ever happening. Just like a grand mystery novel, Im eager to see what the next page of Sherri Phengchard's Mysterious Life will look like. I guess I should stop guessing and trying to flip ahead the pages that seem to be super-glued together and just enjoy the ride. 

--Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him, endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:2--

Countdown

Im sitting at work, about to go teach my second to last day of SAT boot camp while counting down to what is ahead...

2 days until we become THE Phengchards.

3 days until our honeymoon in Bali, and Malaysia--a gift thanks to my AMAZING parents.

7 months and 2 weeks until our wedding in Waxhaw, NC.

Wow! 

Step by step :)

Comfort and Joy

I rummaged through my purse, searching for my book, The Poisionwood Bible, which has recently engrossed me during my typically dull 20-25 minute-long Skytrain rides. But sadly it wasn't in my bag, it was still sitting on the table in my room at home. 

So I eased myself into a corner by the sliding door of the Skytrain car, resigning myself to play my game of listening intently to those around me and trying to decipher what they are saying in Thai to each other.

As I attempted to tune my ears into one conversation next to me, I quickly lost concentration because all the sudden, my ears picked up a faint melody further down the car that was so foreign to Thailand that I thought foreigners must be making it. It was an accapella group singing Christmas carols! 

I couldn't see the group at first since there were people scattered throughout the car blocking my view, but I could hear their clear voices singing in unison and my heart leapt at the chorus. I almost got goose-bumps I was so excited. 

After awhile more and more people got off the Skytrain car and I was able to see who was actually singing. It turned out to be a group of about 8-10 people, all Thais! I was astonished! I have seen many Christmas decorations, such as Christmas trees and big Santas all over Bangkok--mainly to promote consumerism rather than Christ's birth-- but to hear an accapella Thai group singing Christmas carols in English and sound so professional made me feel at home, like I was back at UNC campus listening to the Christmas concert of Psalm 100. 

I think on the Skytrain tonight, listening to this professional group sing on the Skytrain just to give joy to us bored travelers, was one of my best Christmas moments of the season. I won't attempt to compare the accapella group to Jesus, cuz that is rather corny, but the word humble popped into my head when I thought about the group later on. 

Lately, I have been hit with the thought of how the word humble and God and Jesus and Christmas all go hand in hand. God put Himself into the form of a crying, needy baby and came down from glorious heaven to messed-up earth. He was born in a stinky barn and then he was placed in a box out of which slobbering animals usually eat. How bizarre. What kind of God gives up the right to be God and rule over all and go into the form of a lowly baby to be born in such a place? I love how I worship such a mysterious, humble God who is so opposite the ways of the world.

Oh tidings of comfort and joy.

The Show

I was wearing a cotton, red and white flowered sun-dress. To me it was one of those dresses you can dress up or down, whichever you prefer. I chose to dress it down since I leave all my high heel shoes at work because I don't like to clomp around Bangkok in heels, tripping on the uneven sidewalk as my feet are so squished they are about to die from suffocation.

So I wore my black reef flip-flops with my casual sundress, no big. Dominic and I were on our way to meet his mom at her work, to pass out some wedding invitations. But as we were walking to the skytrain, Dominic made a small comment about my shoes, wondering why I hadn't worn high heels with a dress. I told him my reasonings, and he said it's ok, don't worry about it.

We arrived where Dominic's mom works, a government savings bank. When she first saw me, his young-looking, bubbly, 50-something-year-old mom, was smiling broadly at me as usual. In Thai, she immediately said that I looked beautiful, but was wondering why I hadn't worn nicer shoes.

Dominic explained to her how all my heels were at work. She simply forced a grin and nodded, hurriedly leading us up a flight of stairs to the vice president of the bank's office. 

When I am meeting someone who is in a higher position in a company or in the world than I am, I try to show them the same respect I would my family or friends. I have come to realize that person is just a human like me whom I respect no more or less than anyone else in the world.

But showing more respect for those who are older, above you in a company, status, or in charge in Thai, and most Asian cultures, is a HUGE deal. It is important to not only show respect, but also show that you have it all together, so you will earn the person in charge's respect. 

I knew this Thai concept, but it was drilled into my head all morning. The VP we waited so patiently for, met us for about two minutes. During those two minutes, Dominic's mom, I suppose in order to earn his respect and attendance at our wedding, elaborated on how amazing the wedding was going to be. We would have appetizers, and it would be at the Royal Thai Naval Institute. 

After the our short meeting with VP, we moved on to the next important people offices, then to the less important people, and then to other sort-of important people, riding up and down the elevators Dominic used to play on when he was a kid. 

During all her speeches to each person, again she elaborated on about the wedding details. Then she also added that the reason we were having the wedding on a random day, Tuesday, January 6th, was that Dominic and I would be in America before, so that was the best day for us to do it. This isn't true, but I guess it helps her not to lose respect or face if people are like, what weirdos have a wedding on a Tuesday?

What tickled me the most was her excuse about my shoes. She brushed away everyone's eyes that seemed to look at my flip-flopped feet, by telling the starer that my feet were injured or in pain, so I had to wear flip-flops instead of heels. Also not true, but yet again, the excuse protects her from losing face and being looked down for having a future-daughter-in-law who doesn't know how to dress politely.

Dominic was telling me how it annoys him how Thai culture can sometimes just be a big show. No one was really that excited to be going to a wedding for their boss' son that they didn't even know, how could they be? 

But they smiled graciously, pretending it was something they had been looking forward to all year, for the sake of showing respect to their boss and earning their boss's respect. 

We weren't too thrilled to be pulled around like a new toy a kid wants to show off to their friends, and to have everyone giggle at me when I bow like a Thai person, and exclaim how handsome Dominic is...but in order to show respect to Dominic's mom, we did it.

This is all part of Thai culture. Either I can run away from it crying that things aren't like this in America, or I can accept it, smile along, and learn from it. I was on the brink of the former response, but eventually chose the latter. And American culture has its own special quirks too that I'm sure many foreigners want to run away from. As I have said before and learned, no culture is perfect, right, or wrong. Nope..all of them are just different :)

Behind the Scenes

My hair was an afro. I had never in my life seen all of my hair sticking straight up on my head like a pulled out cotton ball. "Oh dear me," I thought, "these are suppose to be our special Thai-style wedding pictures that will help us remember where and how our relationship first began, and I'm going to look like an 80's punk rock star?"

I knew deep down that my hair wouldn't be left like that, and that Ja would fight for me and tell the stylist to fix it if it did look horrendous, but I was still a little freaked out. Thankfully, the sweet, Thai lady played with my hair and face so expertly that I felt like I was a blank canvas, being worked on by an artist. She seemed to know what she was doing, although I was clueless.

After making my afro, she pinned a curved blob of fake black hair around the middle of the back of my head. I was about to tell her that hair color really didn't match my golden brown, until she concealed it by pulling my teased hair delicately over it. From punk Sherri, I had gone to half-Thai princess Sherri. Not too bad.

I loved how the hair matched the look so well, but wasn't too thrilled about how my face was oozing with white powder, pink blush, dark eye shadow, eyeliner, mascara, and shiny mauve-tinted lip gloss. I think Dominic had trouble peering through it to see the real me he is going to marry. But the stylist calmed us a bit by telling us excessive make-up helps with the pictures...

Finally when my hair and make-up were complete, I got to don my old-fashioned Thai wedding clothes. I chose a red-themed outfit out of one of the many books I flipped through at the studio's front desk. I felt like I was getting ready for a Halloween party as I had the red, stain fabric wrapped around the top part of me. Then she held out the skirt. It was so huge it could have covered a king-size bed. I stepped in it, and she pulled it away, and folded it in like one of those fans I used to make in elementary school with colored crepe paper. Then she loaded fake gold rings all over my fingers and laid a gold breast plate thing on my shoulders. I was decked out and ready.

All that Dominic had to do was get his face powdered a little, slip on a funny skirt which was tied up to look like baggy pants, a white royal Thai shirt, elf shoes and of course-- gold rings. "Girls take so long!" he commented. 

It felt so out of place standing in front of a fake set of an ancient day Thai living room and looking out onto a busy shopping mall. The photo studio we went to was in MBK, one of the most popular malls for tourists in Bangkok. I felt like we were on display for all the shoppers to gaze at as they walked by.

The kind photographer was a perfectionist, which I believe is an important trait for a photographer to have. He would make us move our heads and stop, and move it slightly the other way, and then fix it for us if we didn't do it right. He would speak in Thai to me sometimes accidently and then be flustered and try to say his directions in English, but I eventually caught on without the translation. 

He had us hold so many random things, like not only did Dominic get to hold a sword, but I did too! Apparently long ago, there was a Thai woman warrior who went to war in place of her husband or something. I even got to hold what looked like an ancient feather duster, a golden urn, and a wooden, stringed Thai instrument. After holding objects, poses, and each other for about an hour, we were finished and got to chose our prints off the computer.

We picked up the pictures last week and were delighted at how they turned out. My make-up looks a lot better than we thought it would, but of course, since Thailand is a very image-conscience society, all the pictures were photo-shopped--even taking away freckles, and to my dismay, Dominic's cute scruffy goatee. What was left were two glowing, perfect-skinned Thai people. Heehee! 

Im so grateful to Ja and for blessing us with such a wedding gift. I will forever look at the huge, golden-framed picture of us, and remember how God brought us together and how our relationship first began in the land of Thailand. 

What a great start to our adventure.