Comfort and Joy

I rummaged through my purse, searching for my book, The Poisionwood Bible, which has recently engrossed me during my typically dull 20-25 minute-long Skytrain rides. But sadly it wasn't in my bag, it was still sitting on the table in my room at home. 

So I eased myself into a corner by the sliding door of the Skytrain car, resigning myself to play my game of listening intently to those around me and trying to decipher what they are saying in Thai to each other.

As I attempted to tune my ears into one conversation next to me, I quickly lost concentration because all the sudden, my ears picked up a faint melody further down the car that was so foreign to Thailand that I thought foreigners must be making it. It was an accapella group singing Christmas carols! 

I couldn't see the group at first since there were people scattered throughout the car blocking my view, but I could hear their clear voices singing in unison and my heart leapt at the chorus. I almost got goose-bumps I was so excited. 

After awhile more and more people got off the Skytrain car and I was able to see who was actually singing. It turned out to be a group of about 8-10 people, all Thais! I was astonished! I have seen many Christmas decorations, such as Christmas trees and big Santas all over Bangkok--mainly to promote consumerism rather than Christ's birth-- but to hear an accapella Thai group singing Christmas carols in English and sound so professional made me feel at home, like I was back at UNC campus listening to the Christmas concert of Psalm 100. 

I think on the Skytrain tonight, listening to this professional group sing on the Skytrain just to give joy to us bored travelers, was one of my best Christmas moments of the season. I won't attempt to compare the accapella group to Jesus, cuz that is rather corny, but the word humble popped into my head when I thought about the group later on. 

Lately, I have been hit with the thought of how the word humble and God and Jesus and Christmas all go hand in hand. God put Himself into the form of a crying, needy baby and came down from glorious heaven to messed-up earth. He was born in a stinky barn and then he was placed in a box out of which slobbering animals usually eat. How bizarre. What kind of God gives up the right to be God and rule over all and go into the form of a lowly baby to be born in such a place? I love how I worship such a mysterious, humble God who is so opposite the ways of the world.

Oh tidings of comfort and joy.

The Show

I was wearing a cotton, red and white flowered sun-dress. To me it was one of those dresses you can dress up or down, whichever you prefer. I chose to dress it down since I leave all my high heel shoes at work because I don't like to clomp around Bangkok in heels, tripping on the uneven sidewalk as my feet are so squished they are about to die from suffocation.

So I wore my black reef flip-flops with my casual sundress, no big. Dominic and I were on our way to meet his mom at her work, to pass out some wedding invitations. But as we were walking to the skytrain, Dominic made a small comment about my shoes, wondering why I hadn't worn high heels with a dress. I told him my reasonings, and he said it's ok, don't worry about it.

We arrived where Dominic's mom works, a government savings bank. When she first saw me, his young-looking, bubbly, 50-something-year-old mom, was smiling broadly at me as usual. In Thai, she immediately said that I looked beautiful, but was wondering why I hadn't worn nicer shoes.

Dominic explained to her how all my heels were at work. She simply forced a grin and nodded, hurriedly leading us up a flight of stairs to the vice president of the bank's office. 

When I am meeting someone who is in a higher position in a company or in the world than I am, I try to show them the same respect I would my family or friends. I have come to realize that person is just a human like me whom I respect no more or less than anyone else in the world.

But showing more respect for those who are older, above you in a company, status, or in charge in Thai, and most Asian cultures, is a HUGE deal. It is important to not only show respect, but also show that you have it all together, so you will earn the person in charge's respect. 

I knew this Thai concept, but it was drilled into my head all morning. The VP we waited so patiently for, met us for about two minutes. During those two minutes, Dominic's mom, I suppose in order to earn his respect and attendance at our wedding, elaborated on how amazing the wedding was going to be. We would have appetizers, and it would be at the Royal Thai Naval Institute. 

After the our short meeting with VP, we moved on to the next important people offices, then to the less important people, and then to other sort-of important people, riding up and down the elevators Dominic used to play on when he was a kid. 

During all her speeches to each person, again she elaborated on about the wedding details. Then she also added that the reason we were having the wedding on a random day, Tuesday, January 6th, was that Dominic and I would be in America before, so that was the best day for us to do it. This isn't true, but I guess it helps her not to lose respect or face if people are like, what weirdos have a wedding on a Tuesday?

What tickled me the most was her excuse about my shoes. She brushed away everyone's eyes that seemed to look at my flip-flopped feet, by telling the starer that my feet were injured or in pain, so I had to wear flip-flops instead of heels. Also not true, but yet again, the excuse protects her from losing face and being looked down for having a future-daughter-in-law who doesn't know how to dress politely.

Dominic was telling me how it annoys him how Thai culture can sometimes just be a big show. No one was really that excited to be going to a wedding for their boss' son that they didn't even know, how could they be? 

But they smiled graciously, pretending it was something they had been looking forward to all year, for the sake of showing respect to their boss and earning their boss's respect. 

We weren't too thrilled to be pulled around like a new toy a kid wants to show off to their friends, and to have everyone giggle at me when I bow like a Thai person, and exclaim how handsome Dominic is...but in order to show respect to Dominic's mom, we did it.

This is all part of Thai culture. Either I can run away from it crying that things aren't like this in America, or I can accept it, smile along, and learn from it. I was on the brink of the former response, but eventually chose the latter. And American culture has its own special quirks too that I'm sure many foreigners want to run away from. As I have said before and learned, no culture is perfect, right, or wrong. Nope..all of them are just different :)

Behind the Scenes

My hair was an afro. I had never in my life seen all of my hair sticking straight up on my head like a pulled out cotton ball. "Oh dear me," I thought, "these are suppose to be our special Thai-style wedding pictures that will help us remember where and how our relationship first began, and I'm going to look like an 80's punk rock star?"

I knew deep down that my hair wouldn't be left like that, and that Ja would fight for me and tell the stylist to fix it if it did look horrendous, but I was still a little freaked out. Thankfully, the sweet, Thai lady played with my hair and face so expertly that I felt like I was a blank canvas, being worked on by an artist. She seemed to know what she was doing, although I was clueless.

After making my afro, she pinned a curved blob of fake black hair around the middle of the back of my head. I was about to tell her that hair color really didn't match my golden brown, until she concealed it by pulling my teased hair delicately over it. From punk Sherri, I had gone to half-Thai princess Sherri. Not too bad.

I loved how the hair matched the look so well, but wasn't too thrilled about how my face was oozing with white powder, pink blush, dark eye shadow, eyeliner, mascara, and shiny mauve-tinted lip gloss. I think Dominic had trouble peering through it to see the real me he is going to marry. But the stylist calmed us a bit by telling us excessive make-up helps with the pictures...

Finally when my hair and make-up were complete, I got to don my old-fashioned Thai wedding clothes. I chose a red-themed outfit out of one of the many books I flipped through at the studio's front desk. I felt like I was getting ready for a Halloween party as I had the red, stain fabric wrapped around the top part of me. Then she held out the skirt. It was so huge it could have covered a king-size bed. I stepped in it, and she pulled it away, and folded it in like one of those fans I used to make in elementary school with colored crepe paper. Then she loaded fake gold rings all over my fingers and laid a gold breast plate thing on my shoulders. I was decked out and ready.

All that Dominic had to do was get his face powdered a little, slip on a funny skirt which was tied up to look like baggy pants, a white royal Thai shirt, elf shoes and of course-- gold rings. "Girls take so long!" he commented. 

It felt so out of place standing in front of a fake set of an ancient day Thai living room and looking out onto a busy shopping mall. The photo studio we went to was in MBK, one of the most popular malls for tourists in Bangkok. I felt like we were on display for all the shoppers to gaze at as they walked by.

The kind photographer was a perfectionist, which I believe is an important trait for a photographer to have. He would make us move our heads and stop, and move it slightly the other way, and then fix it for us if we didn't do it right. He would speak in Thai to me sometimes accidently and then be flustered and try to say his directions in English, but I eventually caught on without the translation. 

He had us hold so many random things, like not only did Dominic get to hold a sword, but I did too! Apparently long ago, there was a Thai woman warrior who went to war in place of her husband or something. I even got to hold what looked like an ancient feather duster, a golden urn, and a wooden, stringed Thai instrument. After holding objects, poses, and each other for about an hour, we were finished and got to chose our prints off the computer.

We picked up the pictures last week and were delighted at how they turned out. My make-up looks a lot better than we thought it would, but of course, since Thailand is a very image-conscience society, all the pictures were photo-shopped--even taking away freckles, and to my dismay, Dominic's cute scruffy goatee. What was left were two glowing, perfect-skinned Thai people. Heehee! 

Im so grateful to Ja and for blessing us with such a wedding gift. I will forever look at the huge, golden-framed picture of us, and remember how God brought us together and how our relationship first began in the land of Thailand. 

What a great start to our adventure.