Gold

I wish I was 75 years old. I wish I had a head full of wisdom and white hair. I wish I had grandkids who came to visit. I wish I had a beautiful kitchen where I could make them cheesy omelettes and banana pancakes. I wish I was retired in New Zealand and lived on the side of a hill overlooking a Hobbiton-like town.

I wish I could say Dominic and I have been married 52 years and are more in love than we ever were before.

How I envy those older couples who hold hands quietly as they walk down deserted beaches together. It seems they have developed ESP over time, so there is no more need for words.

They have battled the winds, rains, and tsunamis of life together and made it through. These storms have somehow transformed them from scraggly saplings into solid oaks, and they now stand, without quivering, through the worst gales of life.

They have their battle scars, but time, forgiveness, and love mixed together have healed whatever pain they ever brought to one another. They have beaten the odds and stuck together till the end.

But it took so much to get there. So many misunderstandings, so many tears, so much figuring out each other to not keep hurting each other.

It took so much forgiveness, so much acceptance of imperfection, so much unconditional love.

I wish I could skip all the hurricanes and just poof, become that solid oak.

But then how would I gain the gold I seek everyday: wisdom? How would I be able to help those who are struggling understand that it will be ok?

I admire those who have made it through and are still standing strong. You are my inspiration.

I envy the wisdom you have already gained through your tests of life. Please don't be afraid to share some with those of us who are hungering for some too.